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Sorry Kids, I’m out October 18, 2006

Posted by holdencaulfield in Amber Tamblyn, Ashlee Simpson, Britney Spears, Cameron Diaz, Carmen Electra, Christina Aguilera, Claire Danes, Dane Cook, Elizabeth Hurley, Entertainment, Erica Durance, Erika Christensen, Eva Green, James Bond, Janet Jackson, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Jessica Simpson, John Travolta, K-Fed, Kate Bosworth, Kate Hudson, Katherine Heigl, Kristin Kreuk, Lindsay Lohan, Links, Madonna, Mariah Carey, Mel Gibson, Movies, Natalie Portman, Paris Hilton, Penelope Cruz, Pink, Rachel Bilson, Scarlett Johansson, Sophie Monk, Sports, Suri Cruise, Tara Reid, Uncategorized, Victoria Beckham.

Well, I have some bad news.  Apparently I’m all out of space for pictures, so I’m getting the hell out of here.  If you want to keep reading Holden’s Rants, I’ll be at


Come to the new site if you enjoy nip slips and outlandish criticism of celebrities.

See you there


Bond Girls put the GR in Grrrrrrrrr September 14, 2006

Posted by holdencaulfield in Entertainment, Eva Green, James Bond, Jessica Simpson, Kate Bosworth, Rachel Bilson.

— Where is He-Man when you need him?  With Skeletor running on the loose, you would think he and Battle Cat would be right around the corner.  And no, I’m not talking about that walking bag of bones, Nicole Richie.  I’m talking about the once extremely attractive Kate Bosworth who now looks to be auditioning for a role as a skeleton at my local haunted house.  Except with no costume…or makeup.  Wasn’t she hot at one time?  Actually, I know she was, and I have the proof.  She was hot in Blue Crush when she didn’t look like a walking corpse.  I don’t know who decided that being super-skinny and weighing less than a 10 year old were good things, but this has to stop.  Eat a burger and bring back the HOT Kate Bosworth!  On a side note, if you’d like to see Kate’s nipple on her gaunt figure, check out the pictures.

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 — Well, now that you’ve had a couple days to see the new trailer for Casino Royale (the new James Bond flick), I thought it was time for you to meet the newest Bond girl.  Her name is Eva Green.  She is smoking hot and has a fantastic rack (as seen in Dreamers).  She’s only been in a couple of movies so far but in Casino Royale she’ll play Russian spy Vesper Lynd.  And as a side-note, what happened to the sexually suggestive Bond girl names?  Dr. Holly Goodhead (Moonraker), Xenia Onatopp (Goldeneye), Octopussy (Octopussy), and my personal favorite Pussy Galore (Goldfinger).  I bet if Sean Connery were still Bond, he’d break all the rules of movies these days by calling women sexually suggestive names and sleeping around the entire movie.  Oh how I long for those days.

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 — File this under the “Wait, they’ve been married 14 years?!?” category.  It looks like Bobby and Whitney are calling it quits after 14 years filled with drug addiction, crack whores, and overdoses (and that’s just Whitney).  One good note is that they only spawned one child, a daughter named Bobby Kristina.  I’m sure she’ll grow up to be a pillar of society, a completely socially adjusted adult.  Just like Macaully Culkin…

 — More hotties in the news lately…Bang Showbiz is reporting that Rachel Bilson will be playing Wonder Woman in an upcoming movie.  Now I barely know who Rachel Bilson is, apparently she’s on that barely watched series The O.C., so I had my crack team of sleuths pull up the Mystery Van and see what we could dig up.  Well slap my ass and call me Shirley, she’s pretty darn hot!  So here’s what we dug up: if you want to see what she’ll look like as Wonder Woman, watch this and if you just want to see her girl-next-door hotness, check her out here.

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 — And last but certainly not least, the following pictures contain a Fed-Ex truck, a Range Rover, a pair of ugly boots, a tool wearing a red shirt with a watch the size of a hand grenade and Jessica’s twins.

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