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Sorry Kids, I’m out October 18, 2006

Posted by holdencaulfield in Amber Tamblyn, Ashlee Simpson, Britney Spears, Cameron Diaz, Carmen Electra, Christina Aguilera, Claire Danes, Dane Cook, Elizabeth Hurley, Entertainment, Erica Durance, Erika Christensen, Eva Green, James Bond, Janet Jackson, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Jessica Simpson, John Travolta, K-Fed, Kate Bosworth, Kate Hudson, Katherine Heigl, Kristin Kreuk, Lindsay Lohan, Links, Madonna, Mariah Carey, Mel Gibson, Movies, Natalie Portman, Paris Hilton, Penelope Cruz, Pink, Rachel Bilson, Scarlett Johansson, Sophie Monk, Sports, Suri Cruise, Tara Reid, Uncategorized, Victoria Beckham.
2 comments

Well, I have some bad news.  Apparently I’m all out of space for pictures, so I’m getting the hell out of here.  If you want to keep reading Holden’s Rants, I’ll be at

http://holden–caulfield.blogspot.com/

Come to the new site if you enjoy nip slips and outlandish criticism of celebrities.

See you there

 HC

Posh’s boobie, Biel’s kiss, and Aguilera’s hottness September 18, 2006

Posted by holdencaulfield in Christina Aguilera, Entertainment, Jessica Biel, K-Fed, Lindsay Lohan, Pink, Victoria Beckham.
2 comments

— Fashion week was last week in NYC, and one of the best things to come out of it was the appearance of Victoria Beckham’s nipple.  Posh Spice usually just flaunts her silicone chest through her shirt with her headlights on (as seen in the first picture with the pink jacket), but it looks like one of the twins snuck out of her black dress last week.  Nipples want to see the fashions too.  The real question I have is, are her nipples as fake as her boobs?  I mean those water balloons are pumped up to maximum capacity and I just wonder if her nipples are actually that hard and pointy or if they’re just those plastic spouts they have on floats to blow them up.  Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me one bit.  And when did she become an emotionless android?  The computer in War Games showed more personality.

victoria_beckham_1.jpg     victoria_beckham_slip_bug_2_big.jpg     victoria_beckham_slip_bug_big.jpg     victoria_beckham_slip_bug_3_big.jpg

 — In my perusing of the internet lately, I found some interesting pictures.  Usually, the only pictures I ever seem to find of Jessica Biel are of her working out or running with her dogs or working out and running with her dogs.  BORING!  So when I found pictures of her making out with a GIRL, I felt inclined to post them for you guys.  Now maybe she isn’t exactly making out, but that is only because the photographer was a little slow in squeezing off a picture because he was shocked by the sheer beauty of the kiss.  At least that’s what I’m going to think.  Plus with a tongue like that, the possibilities are just endless.

jessicabiel1.jpg     jessicabiel2.jpg     jessica_biel_tongue-thumb.jpg

 — My favorite little giraffe woman is in the news again and is quickly becoming cliche.  I’m going to keep this short and sweet because I know you need your Lindsay Lohan fix that doesn’t involve a beaver.  First of all, she broke her wrist last week –most likely rubbing one out for a Def Leppard roady.  And then, she went to a birthday party for her mom Dina last week that ended when her mom got sloshed (while setting a stellar example) and Lindsay told her to “Go to Hell”.  Now I don’t know about the birthday parties you guys go to, but at the ones I frequent, the mom usually doesn’t get hammered, and if she does we pretend not to notice.  We certainly don’t tell her to go to hell.  We just eat our cake and ice cream, and discretely spike our own cups of punch.  The Lohans are classy though, so I’ve got to be the one doing it wrong.  

 — Proving that opposites attract, I provide Exhibit A: Christina Aguilera, who is smoking hot, and her husband who is probably suppsoted to be guarding a pot of gold.  Look at him trying to kiss her.  He looks like a monkey trying to lick a coconut.  I seriously doubt they do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.  

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 — In what has become a national phenomenon, our WTF section brings you the cover photo to K-Fag’s new album.  What on this cover would actually inspire someone to buy it?  Maybe it’s the clean-cut image he’s portraying by not showing any of his poser tattoos.  No, maybe it’s the cards and the smoking cigarette next to him.  Nope, I’ve got it; it’s either the drink on fire or the sweet script in which ‘Playing with Fire’ is written in.  Yep, definitely the script.  If there’s any justice in this world, the prankster who graffitied Paris’ album will get a hold of this one too.  Although, what would he really do?  Make K-Fed look like a smug, no-talent, piece of shit?  Done and done.

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 — And one last note, is Pink hot or just a 12-year old boy?  I’m totally confused.

 pink.jpg

HC