jump to navigation

Sorry Kids, I’m out October 18, 2006

Posted by holdencaulfield in Amber Tamblyn, Ashlee Simpson, Britney Spears, Cameron Diaz, Carmen Electra, Christina Aguilera, Claire Danes, Dane Cook, Elizabeth Hurley, Entertainment, Erica Durance, Erika Christensen, Eva Green, James Bond, Janet Jackson, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Jessica Simpson, John Travolta, K-Fed, Kate Bosworth, Kate Hudson, Katherine Heigl, Kristin Kreuk, Lindsay Lohan, Links, Madonna, Mariah Carey, Mel Gibson, Movies, Natalie Portman, Paris Hilton, Penelope Cruz, Pink, Rachel Bilson, Scarlett Johansson, Sophie Monk, Sports, Suri Cruise, Tara Reid, Uncategorized, Victoria Beckham.

Well, I have some bad news.  Apparently I’m all out of space for pictures, so I’m getting the hell out of here.  If you want to keep reading Holden’s Rants, I’ll be at


Come to the new site if you enjoy nip slips and outlandish criticism of celebrities.

See you there


Lindsay sans bra, Kate with her bikini, and a little Tennis fo’ yo ass September 11, 2006

Posted by holdencaulfield in Entertainment, John Travolta, Kate Hudson, Lindsay Lohan, Maria Sharapova, Sports.
add a comment

 — As the weeks go by, I guess nothing about these young celebrities should surprise us anymore.  Lindsay Lohan seems to have gone to the Paris Hilton school of marketing because whether forgetting to wear panties as you get off a boat in Venice or going bra-less while wearing your see-through shirt as you walk down the street in LA, those two will stop at nothing to get their names in headlines every week.  Next thing you know, Jessica Simpson will be doing naked cartwheels in Times Square (if her dad’s lucky) or Scarlett Johansson will be riding a motorcycle over the Snake River naked just to steal the headlines from those two.  So as I’ve alluded to, Lindsay decided to continue her rebellion against underwear by walking the streets in a see-through shirt sans bra.  My favorite part of the outfit, besides the obvious, is the black fedora.  Who wears hats like that anymore??  Did she just get finished filming a remake to Michael Jackson’s Smooth Criminal?  What confuses me the most about this girl is that I can’t tell if she is doing all of these things on purpose.  Is this a concerted effort to prove to the world that she is the sluttiest 20-year old on the planet?  Or is she just a damn fool that gets too much attention for accomplishing VERY LITTLE.  I’m going with option A, because I can’t believe anyone with that kind of money would have hired ALL idiots to work with her.  I guess all I’m proving is that, for the 838th time, I tend to give people entirely too much credit.

llst1.jpg     llst2.jpg     llst3.jpg     llst4.jpg     llst5.jpg

 — I found some new bikini pictures, and since they didn’t involve Lindsay, I felt compelled to post them.  Kate Hudson decided to bring out her stripity-striped bikini and head to the beach.  Damn she has a nice body.  That hippie-haired guy in that band we never hear anymore needs to do everything he can do to hold on to that.  He’ll clearly never do any better.  Too bad she’s not “stupid” enough to walk around without panties or generally make an ass out of herself on a consistent basis or we’d see her here on HC more often.  Since she doesn’t, I have to take advantage of what I get.  I threw in a picture from Almost Famous just in case you’d forgotten about her many talents.

kh1.jpg     kh2.jpg     kh3.jpg     kh4.jpg     4.jpg

 — Speaking of hotties, look at the one on the left in this picture:

travolta-hairspray.jpg     john_travolta_kissing_guy.jpg

WTF you might ask?  It’s Johnny Travolta and I know it’s for his role as Edna Turnblad in Hairspray, but after you get photographed kissing a guy just a couple weeks ago people start to question everything you do.  People like me.  So this is what I think, I think he’s a flaming douche-bag and that Scientology is making him dress like a woman and kiss men to try to take some of the heat off of Tom Cruise.  Only time will tell whether my theory is correct.

 — And one last sports note.  I don’t know if anyone watched the Women’s US Open final on Saturday night — I flicked it on during the Ohio State – Texas massacre — and holy crap am I going to start watching more women’s tennis.  Yes, I already knew that Maria Sharapova was a stone-cold fox, but did anyone catch her at the US Open?  She has to be one of the hottest women in sports and she actually has some talent, enough talent to win 2 Grand Slams. 

 _42069720_sharapovagetty_body.jpg     ms1.jpg     ms3.jpg